Hi, I’m Crystal. I have spent MANY hours thinking about, brainstorming for, and trying to perfect every endeavor in my life before actually getting started. I have been a procrastinator as long as I can remember, I’m always late, and I’m told I “overthink” everything. I used to wonder why I couldn’t “just do it,” just be on time, or stop overanalyzing…then I had a kid. Several mental health therapy appointments, coaching certifications, parenting and self-help books later – I’ve realized the why to these questions. Does that mean I have it all figured out now? Far from it. What it does mean, is that it’s time for me to take a chance.
Personal Journey
I’m on a personal journey to be true to who I am at my core. To be unapologetically myself (another issue I’m working on – saying “sorry” before/after almost everything). I have always been concerned with what people will think of me, if I have enough experience to teach, if my work will be valued, if I’m making anyone feel bad. Outwardly, I’m told I seem to have my shit together. The truth – I spend much of my time stressing out about the details that often don’t matter in the end. So today, I say – enough!! I’m just gonna put myself out there. My experience is valuable, my knowledge is legit, and my journey is relatable.
Starting a Business
I’m starting a business. I’m not hoping to, or trying to, I AM doing it. Is it happening as fast as I would have historically preferred? Definitely not. Am I at peace with that? Not totally. Am I learning to be more patient? Yes.
Reality Versus Perception
Before I got pregnant, I was in the best shape of my life. I worked out intensely til the end and had big plans to “bounce back” within a couple months postpartum. When it didn’t go down that way, I went through cycles of overdoing it, hurting myself, getting anxious about not being able to take care of my baby or never being able to do the things I wanted to do again, to comparing myself to others who “had no problem” getting back to exercise, to getting bitter, to saying f*#$ it, and starting the cycle all over again. I consulted Dr. Google for my troubles, and it resulted in more anxiety.
Postnatal Fitness & Mental Health
Then I found the Postnatal Fitness Specialist Academy and, through that, the Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism Coach course. I dove heavily into those, feeling inspired that I finally had the answers I needed to get back to being me. But mom-hood proved to be a bigger challenge than I’d planned on. My mental/emotional state wouldn’t allow me to be away from my baby enough to do what I needed to do to take care of myself. Now that I’m in a more mentally and emotionally stable place (thank you to therapy and Zoloft), I’ve fallen so far off the fitness wagon that I am struggling to find the motivation to put in the work I know is necessary. And this time, I can’t just jump in like I always used to; I MUST rebuild my foundation.
So personally, I am still working to find a new norm that satisfies my craving for physical activity while ensuring I employ the concept of progressive overload vs going balls to the walls like I want to. For over a year, I have let that fact prevent me from starting my business. But that is silly. I can still help others with what I know while working on my own shit. I would even go so far as to say that helping others will help me along my own journey, as I have always been more motivated and consistent when I belong to a community of people with similar interests and goals.
Next Steps
What is my business plan? Still figuring that out. In fact, for the first time in my life, I don’t actually have a plan, but I’m going for it anyway. I’m learning to take it one day at a time, be patient with the process, and believe in myself and what I have to offer. Instead of allowing myself to get caught up in trying to incorporate the hundreds of ideas that have come to mind since I began this motherhood journey, I’m just going to start here.
I am going to post a blog regularly. I’m going to tell you my story. I’m going to share my thoughts and knowledge. I’m going to find my community. All I know for sure right now is that I plan to help improve access to better education and guidance that moms receive from health and fitness professionals as it relates to our bodies, minds, and souls. And eventually get back into coaching.
So what is The Whole Mom Movement?….
Growing a human, giving birth, and postpartum recovery are absolutely normal processes, but they are also HUGE physiological changes occurring in our bodies. Throw a little physical birth trauma in there (forceps, vacuum, tearing, hemorrhage, C-section, etc.), and there’s a whole other level of healing and rehab that must be employed to regain function, decrease common symptoms, and progress toward the things we were doing before; especially if we are playing the long game. Much of the current guidance and societal messaging related to fitness, adjustments, and recovery during the pregnant and postpartum (which is forever) seasons of life – focuses on our physical body, “getting it back,” and delivers inaccurate and often harmful information.
It’s not that those dealing out the guidance are intentionally doing so, but much of this information is new within the last couple of decades. It feels like as moms/women/those with female anatomy and hormones – we have finally gained the strength, confidence, clout, and professional expertise to stand up and demand more. The world could literally not go on without us, and yet it has only recently been acknowledged that our physiology is not comparable to that of the 35-year-old male subjects used in exercise science research, that the effects of pregnancy and childbirth on our bodies don’t have to be “just the way things are now;” and that systems and social norms continue to fail at valuing us and prioritizing our well-being.
I am all for women’s rights, but it seems as though with those rights have come more inherent (both societal and self-imposed) expectations. We now have double duties. On top of doing the most important job (being a parent), we are sold unrealistic recommendations to keep our career, be a stellar mom, manage the household (seriously?), and find time for self-care. I’m quite bitter about this. We shouldn’t have to choose one or the other, and we shouldn’t be expected to do it all. We deserve more from society and those in our lives who are supposed to be our support. Despite the social advances over time, we still have work to do to get to a place of truly valuing and supporting our moms. Change starts with us recognizing this and advocating for ourselves and each other.
Many people use exercise as a mental health therapy. But when you throw in those mama hormones, on top of getting to know your changed body, it can be discouraging if you can’t do what you’ve always done to feel grounded. Not to mention, becoming a parent often forces you to deal with a boatload of crap that you’ve been avoiding your entire life. There is no emotional experience like that of parenthood. Your entire life is different, and there are so many things out of your control. You can’t always just pick up where you left off. This can leave you feeling lost. Our brains are stubborn – they have a hard time adjusting vs. dwelling on what is no longer feasible.
The Whole Mom moves, thinks, and feels. Often, we get caught up thinking about these factors independently of each other, but it isn’t until we can recognize how they are all intertwined that we can find sustainable ways to maintain good health. And it’s not just done once you figure this out; it’s constant work in progress.
I’m honored that you have decided to come on this journey with me. As I said, I don’t know exactly where I’m going with it, but a big part of my goal is to find out what is meaningful to you! Tell me about yourself, your parenthood challenges, or any physical, mental, or emotional struggles you’ve had or are currently facing.